Free Ebook Beyond Consequences, Logic and Control
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Beyond Consequences, Logic and Control
Free Ebook Beyond Consequences, Logic and Control
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Audible Audiobook
Listening Length: 4 hours and 42 minutes
Program Type: Audiobook
Version: Unabridged
Publisher: Beyond Consequences Institute, LLC
Audible.com Release Date: August 23, 2013
Language: English
ASIN: B00EQ0I1MO
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
This is a really great book for parents of adopted, foster, or other traumatized children. It gives a scenario, then the traditional approach, then a new approach. Oh how I relate to the traditional approach! Without knowing it, that is what I thought & what I've heard so many times from peers & parents! This book gave me more empathy, and a new way to view behaviors with the kiddos I'm helping. I also got this book on Audible. I had to keep pausing the audio because I was blown away. They were describing some of my situations! It took me some time to digest (although it is not in complicated language, it gives deep insight). I will be re-reading/listening.
This book hasn't worked any "magic", but it did help me understand some of my sons behavior. For children with a traumatic background, I believe this method is useful. I would suggest parents of adopted or foster children read the book. However, the book needs more examples of real life. The three examples given in the chapter for aggression have the child calming down or at least not being physically aggressive when you sit and wait out their behavior calmly. There is no discussion about what to do when the child is attacking you physically.
I had been struggling for years with my daughter's behaviors. In my line of profession as an educator I not only have worked with extremely behaviorally challenged children, but have also had the opportunity to work with families in their homes and empower parents, equipping them with skills to successfully support their child's development and success, however I was finding that I could help "fix" everybody else's child, but my own. Someone once said to me it was because I was more emotionally attached to my own in a way I wasn't to the others. I began to pray harder and my prayers went from "show me God how to help her be successful" to "help me Lord become the parent she needs me to be. Help me see her through Your eyes. Show me how I need to change me, in order to be who she needs me to be, for her." Within a week of constant praying this prayer, one day after praying this prayer I began another internet search, my Google search was nothing different than before, but this time this book "fell into my lap". I read an excerpt from it and it immediately clicked. Being an educator and very knowledgeable of early childhood and brain development,everything went hand in hand with what I already knew...so I bought the book because usually had to read more! It was then that I discovered how I had to deal with my own fears and heal myself in order to meet my daughter's needs and begin the processes of healing her from her fears. This book truly was a God send and I recommend it to everyone I can!
This book has been life changing in our home. We did not realize until after adoption that we were facing attachment disorder issues. Once I realized how bad things were getting and how wrong the direction we were headed was, I looked for answers and found them in this book. The understanding I have for her behaviors and my own have changed our home. There is more love, very little yelling and much less stress. I have also been able to apply this to all aspects of my life. Work and otherwise. It gives you a better understanding of people and how their behavior enacts your own fears and as a result your own behaviors. I am much more peaceful and for that I will be forever grateful. I have told everyone I know about this book. My husband and I will be traveling to a seminar in November as well.
5 stars, because it immediately changed the paradigms on logic and consequences in our parenting. Lots more peace and joy in the family that our adopted son deserves. Prior to reading the book I was sure I needed to fix myself because I had begun to notice I was reacting in fear. Perfect that I was recommended this book because I found out that our son has his own fears, too! My hubby is reading this now so he will understand my new attitude!
Rarely is there a book that has such a big impact that it marks time. There is the extreme frustration and severe pain before reading this book, then there was the beginning of healing that began 4 years ago once I read this book.I dont remember that the book was completely applicable and useful. I do remember passages that shifted my thinking and helped me see the need for me to practice unconditional love and acceptance of the situation.Would I have found this understanding eventually without reading this book? I honesty dont know. I do know that reading this book helped me to shift my thinking, led me to start supporting my daughter, which led her to accept lots of professional help. She is now on her way toward recovery.
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